Saturday, February 5, 2011

i climbed 60 floors yesterday

yes. it is true.  i climbed 60 floors yesterday.  it was not on the IDS tower downtown, nor was it up and down my own stairs 30 times, but at the Y on this machine that i have just discovered - the StepMill.  what attracted me to this beauty?  actually, i thought it looked like something on which i could work out and crochet simultaneously!  seriously!
looks evil, doesn't it?  that is because it IS! in addition to driving my ass and thighs to the brink of collapse, this thing called the StepMill has quickly tightened its wicked grasp on my sensibilities, made me shun the bike, and pushed me into addiction.  it hurts, oww how it hurts, but feels sooooo good!

past experiences on the bike were leisurely and lengthy – 20 minutes or so until the sweat appeared.  the elliptical is just a trend!  the rower and old fashioned and outdated concept. The StepMill has shown me the pleasure of the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-you-are-done-who-is-next?  holy crap!  within 5 minutes of hopping on that thing I am huffing, puffing, begging for mercy.  it's cold steel just moves on and on, placing more steps in my path, the hard realization that if I do not keep climbing, I will tumble to the gym floor and REALLY embarrass myself! 

the cranking is rhythmic and metallic, much like the sounds of industry, building, driving, creating potential.  surely this workout is the most efficient.  I walk past my old friend the elliptical, I ignore the ever faithful bike, bah! to the rower.  my new love is the mysterious, black, StepMill, pushing me farther than anyone else!  15 minutes and I have climbed 60 floors!  surely my calorie count is astronomical, based on my aching and perspiring and the fact that I have CLIMBED 60 FLOORS!  120 calories in 15 minutes.  that comes to 20 calories per floor.  ummmm, wha?  does that seem a little short?  c'mon!  I CLIMBED 60 FLOORS!!  surely, my reward must be more than a measly piece of peanut butter toast, or half a bottle of coke…….

like the addict I am, I walk away vowing to never touch the stuff again, cursing and damning the StepMill.  I try to ignore that tiny voice that says, "next time you will try level 10… time……next time……"

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