changing diplomacy and crochet

one of the things i admire about crochet (yes, "admire" is the correct word), is its ability to be frankly honest.  this sounds strange, admittedly, but it is a redeeming quality of this particular fiber art.  if i am working on a design and during the course of obtaining that desired outcome make a boo-boo, my project is going to tell me in no uncertain terms that it just isn't going to happen.  a knitted project is one of intricate and complex loops and, if i drop a stitch, the subtle and diplomatic character of knitting will only reveal my mistake many rows later, when it all starts to unravel.  while a fine and beautiful knitted sweater or scarf will try to carry on, will quietly deal with the pain i have inflicted with my needles, a crocheted project will scream at me, "WHOA! wtf is THAT?!  you want a HAT??  HA HA HA!  guess what, dumb ass!  you now have yet another COZY!"  this is why i love crochet.  this is why i admire crochet.  it is this facet of crochet that i have decided to weave into my own life.  join me!

some may call me foolish.  after all, one cannot go around referring to every one else as "dumb ass."  or can we?  as a 44 yr old woman from Minnesota, i propose that a little more "dumb ass" action would make life better for all of us.  think about it.  in your work, your relationships, your daily communication with people you encounter, wouldn't you save yourself and every one else a little more time if you didn't have to diplomatically tell people to knock it off (what ever "it" may be)?  how many times have you had to rephrase a corrective request to make it understandable by the recipient?  each time you repeat your request to the person who is blessed with your wisdom and insight, you have to take one tiny step closer to the "dumb ass" option anyway and, if you are lucky, you will only have to repeat yourself three or four times, all in the name of diplomacy.  when it is all said and done, and a significant chunk of your time is gone forever, the dumb ass will of course be thinking, "why didn't you just say what you mean?!  dumb ass!"

go ahead and laugh.  tell me that i am digging my own grave, that i am burning bridges, that i am sealing my own doom.  guess what?  i am not afraid because i am not alone.  as i wander through society, i notice every day that more and more people have decided to join the revolution -  the cab driver who i cut off on Lake Street, the woman behind me at the check out lane at Lund's as i fished for 38 cents in the bottom of my purse, the dude behind the deli counter who made my sandwich wrong -  we are all joined in our commitment to rendering a sharp spanking on the butt of diplomacy.  think of the strides we could make if Obama and Boehner would abandon the thesaurus and the facial tissue and toss around a few "dumb ass" compliments to each other via CNN!  you may now label me an idealist.

it is true, many believe the niceties matter, but few of us are well versed at using niceties as effective feedback.  the first victory of the revolution will come the day "dumb ass" is categorized as a term of great regard in the niceties manual.  in fact, one should consider it a compliment when referred to with this term of endearment.  after all, if the speaker didn't think so highly of you, didn't value your time, didn't respect you and your need to keep your life on schedule, they wouldn't bother with a term that is truly meant to inspire immediate action.  why, one might even be so bold as to say "dumb ass" instrad of "i love you!"  i, for one, know that the next time i am lucky enough to be called a "dumb ass" i will smile and say, "thank you!"